I'm So Lost, I'm So Cold
by Vodkova
Summary: Lovino goes to Antonio's house to do something nice for once and witnesses something he doesn't exactly like. He drives home and gets comforted by his beloved brother.   human names  Rated T for language
1. Chapter 1

My kawaii story for my wonderful fratello. Ti amo3

**I'm So Lost, I'm So Cold**

**Chapter One**

For once in my life, I decided to do something nice from that Spanish bastard on my own. I bought him some girly ass flowers and brought a box of tomatoes from my- uh, Feliciano's garden.

I hopped out of my manly red Ferrari and turned the knob to Antonio's house. Wow, the dumbass left it unlocked. That doesn't really surprise me since he can be a real ditz sometimes. He also left his house a complete mess. I turned into a hall with a bunch of paintings of Spanish looking people. What was that bastard doing? I ran up the stairs and opened the door to his room.

Was I in the right house? Where the hell am I? This can't be right...

That fucking bastard Arthur was with Antonio on the bed. Fucking. Each other. On the very same bed I had sex with Antonio for my first time. I dropped everything on the floor and Arthur turned and looked at me with a startled yet hazed look in his eyes. Antonio was pinned underneath Arthur with a pained look on his face. I stood there frozen for the longest 3 seconds of my life.

Why? This must be a dream. As quickly and steadily as I could, I ran back to my car and slammed on the accelerator without even putting my seatbelt on. I don't even know how I managed to get to our house. I was in such a haze, thinking about what I had just seen.

Out of my car and into the rain I went. Feliciano met me at the door with a concerned look on his face.

"Eto, fratello, what happened? Why so gloomy?"

"Its raining, you dumbass."

"Oh, that's not what I meant..."

I brushed past Feliciano and stormed up the stairs to my bedroom. Stupid bastard, I thought to myself as I changed into some tomato pajamas. I sat back down on the bed and thought about what I had just witnessed. Why? He said he loved me...


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the story alerts and favorites! If you guys review though, I'll give you some virtual candy :3

**I'm So Lost, I'm So Cold**

**Chapter 2**

Tears were streaming down my face when Feliciano came in. "Fratello, I eh brought you some pizza…" Oh no. I hid underneath the fluffy covers of our bed before he came closer. "Fratello, please come out. I've seen you cry before and its nothing to be ashamed of!" What? Crying in front of another person is beyond shameful- its degrading!

"Lovino, come out," Feliciano said with a slightly more serious tone. I froze. I crawled out from underneath the covers to see that the raindrops were still racing down my window and made the room darker than usual. Feliciano looked at me with a glint in his eyes.

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

"Okay then, I'll just eat all the pizza by myself downstairs."

"Wait, no!

"Ah, yes?"

I dragged myself closer to him so I didn't have to speak so loudly. "I…" He waited patiently for me to continue my sentence, but I couldn't. Arthur and Antonio in the bed… the more I thought about it, the louder I sobbed. Feliciano scooted close and hugged me. He patted my back in a comforting way which just made the tears worse.

Did Antonio cheat on me because I always pushed him away? I wasn't pushing him away because I didn't love him! I—I just don't know how to be as affectionate and _passionate_ as him. For heaven's sake, he knows _all_ about passion.

"Lovi, please just tell me when you're ready. I don't want you to keep it to yourself. Go to sleep, yeah?" He laid me down and tucked me in and kissed both of my cheeks. "Just like how Grandpa Rome used to tuck us in~" I grinned. The dumbass knows how to make me feel better.

I laid in bed and couldn't fall asleep. My mind kept on drifting off and thinking about Antonio. I didn't even _want_ to think about him. I stared at the raindrops sliding down the window to distract myself. I glanced at the clock and it read 11:27 P.M. Ugh, I just want to sleep already.

The door suddenly opened, snapping me out of my thinking. "Fratello, look at what I made you!" I propped myself up and he sat down next to me. He placed a tray with wafers and a cup of hot chocolate. Not just _any_hot chocolate, but _Italian_hot chocolate. I scarfed down the wafers and ate the hot chocolate. Feliciano started chatting away about how him and Kiku went to Heracles house and played with cats or something. I drifted into a deep sleep, lulled by his voice.

Falling asleep was the worse fucking idea I've ever had.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for all the reviews and alerts/favorites! It really did make my day. I would have uploaded a chapter earlier but I got really sick over the weekend ;~; You're all wonderful tomatoes~

p.s rock lee is awesome, annie is awesome, I had no idea romano was so spicy, and the word arf makes me laugh uncontrollably.

**I'm So Lost, I'm So Cold**

**Chapter 3**

I had the worse fucking dream ever. I was in a cell, tied up. That English bastard was yanking my curl. Next to me was Antonio, shackled and naked. I heard a pounding noise in my dream and woke up.

What the hell? I still heard the pounding. I looked next to myself and saw Feliciano snoozing away. I _may_ have given him a kiss on the cheek. Just as a thanks for making me feel better, dammit! I rubbed my eyes and put my slippers on. I dragged myself downstairs and found the source of the pounding. _Wait,_I only know of one extremely obnoxious person and I hate that bastard.

I peeked through the peephole on the front door and saw a huge blue eye staring back at me. "Hey, Romano!" the asshole yelled. I staggered backwards and let out a shriek. Of course it was America. What the hell did he want? He continued to pound on the door.

"Get out of here, bastard!

"C'mon, open up!"

"Get the fuck OUT!"

"I brought you some tomatoes, though."

Damn, he knows I can't say no to tomatoes. I slowly opened the door and peeked out. He walked in without me saying anything and dropped a box of tomatoes on the kitchen counter. Alfred sat himself down on one of the stools and ran a hand through his golden hair.

"We need to talk," he muttered in a serious tone.

"What the hell about?"

"This is on a serious note, Romano."

I glared at him. He must obviously know what happened, that bastard England and him were quite close. Kinda like the tomato and cheese on a pizza, the needed each other. I'm not sure who was going out with who, and I didn't give a fuck. I just wanted to know what Alfred needed to talk to me about

"What happened with Spain?"

"I... let me get Feliciano so I don't have to tell the story twice."

I came back down a minute later dragging a very sleepy Feliciano. I poured him a cup of hot chocolate and gave him a biscotti.

"Grazie, fratello~ What's the occasion?"

"Story time."

"Ah, okay I understand," he said, getting quiet.

"So what happened, Romano?"

Once again I hesitated. Feliciano placed his hand on mine and I clenched my teeth. What the hell, why is it so hard to say it? I opened my mouth and no words came out. Flashbacks flew through my mind again. I kicked the stool next to me in frustration and stormed out. I went into my car and slammed the accelerator.

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